Customs of Indonesia

"Custom is kind of guide of human life" said a Scottish philosopher, David Hume. Yup, knowing the customs of a country is a guide to understanding the soul of the country and its people. If you are not an Indonesian, let me provide you a glimpse into the unique world of my country's customs. I deliver the information about Indonesian culture: how Indonesian people marry, what they eat, and how they socialize.

Family and Marriage 

Women in rural areas are often married by the time they are 20 years old. Although people throughout the country have more freedom to choose their own marriage partners than they had in the past. Rural families are generally more involved than urban families are in the choice of their children's spouses, and men generally have somewhat more freedom in choosing their spouses than women have. Engagement is more than an agreement between the future bride and groom; it binds the two families. Members of the extended family often live under the same roof or near one another. Older people are shown special respect.

In most regions, the home is traditionally dominated by the father, and the mother is responsible for raising children and caring for the household. In urban areas, however, the trend today is for many women to work outside the home. Women occupy some seats in parliament and generally have as much access to education as men do. Indonesian women have more rights than women in other predominantly Muslim countries, including rights in property settlements, inheritance, and divorce. Among the Minangkabau ethnic group, the mother is the dominant figure in the household, and extended families group together according to matrilineal descent.

Eating

Rice is the staple and is eaten at every meal. Vegetables, fish, and hot sauces are often served with the rice; specific dishes vary according to the region. Tea and coffee are the most common drinks. Fresh fruit is widely available and is often eaten as dessert. Popular meats include beef and chicken. Observant Muslims do not eat pork. Chilies are often used (sometimes in large quantities) in cooking, as are other spices. Coconut milk is used to cook particularly spicy food known as Padang food, named after the city on Sumatra where it originated. In the capital, Jakarta, restaurants serve a variety of different cuisines, although the range is not as extensive as in some other Southeast Asian capitals.

Many Indonesians eat with a spoon and fork, but more traditional families eat with their hands. Generally, the fork is held in the left hand and the spoon in the right, and both hands are kept above the table while eating. It is impolite to eat or drink until invited to do so by the host. Finishing a drink implies the desire for the glass to be refilled. There are many street vendors selling food, but people who purchase food should always sit to eat because it is considered inappropriate to eat while standing or walking on the street.

Socializing

Indonesian culture is based on honor and respect for the individual. Letters begin with Dengan hormat, meaning “With respect,” and respect is important in greeting others. Status is also important; the most senior person or the host should be greeted first, and special deference should be shown to older people. A nod or slight bow is the usual form of greeting, although when meeting someone for the first time it is normal to shake hands as well. Handshakes are also used when congratulating someone or when saying goodbye before a long trip. Titles are very important and should be used when greeting and in general conversation. The most formal introduction would include, in roughly this order, Bapak (“Sir”) or Ibu (“Madam”), an academic or professional title (if applicable), the noble title (if the person uses it), and the person’s given and family names. Many Indonesians, especially the Javanese, have only one name and are therefore addressed both formally and casually by that name. Business representatives often exchange cards when greeting each other.

When socializing, one never touches the head of another person. Unless married or engaged to her, a man usually does not touch a woman in public, except to shake hands. The left hand is not used to shake hands, touch others, point, eat, or give or receive objects.

Indonesians believe that visits bring honor to the host, and they warmly welcome all guests. Unannounced visits are common. When a visit has been prearranged it is usual to arrive half an hour after the appointed time. Visitors sit when invited to, but will also rise when the host or hostess enters the room, because deference to one’s host is very important. A drink is often served, but a guest does not drink until invited to. A person may cause offense by refusing when food or drink is offered. Blunt talk should be avoided. If the host or hostess is not wearing footwear, it is polite for visitors to remove theirs. Shoes are removed before entering carpeted rooms, feasting places, places of funeral viewings, mosques, and other holy places. Gifts are not opened in the giver’s presence.

For me, Indonesian culture mixes the traditions of many religions and civilizations. Indonesia is UNITY in DIVERSITY.